Sharing and Caring Event

The “Sharing and Caring” event was hosted at a week long event at the Hikarie Gallery space on the 8F Aiima from August 6-12th.

Sharing with people during the bad times and caring during the good times.

The idea is that the NPOs in Tokyo who are focused on the same population both as a volunteer base as well as the beneficiaries can help host and event for the week with a daily showcase of the work they have done. For instance, with the orphan population in Japan.

We set up the gallery space with artwork and information about the NPOs and homes we support.





I wanted to share a personal story and why we do what we do.

I was the product of a teenage pregnancy. My parents were just out of high school.

For numerous reasons I never met my biological father so while I was not technically an orphan, I always wondered.

I had a name and a name of his sister. That is all. In those days, we just had the phone book. So I went through the phone book and never could find anyone.

My mother, when she became sick the first time, turned to creating her legacy of genealogy the analogue way of tracking the family tree and sending photocopied newsletters to all of the relatives on a monthly basis.

Once I moved to Japan, we relied on fax machines and then eventually the “internet” to keep in touch.

When the internet came along, I realized I could continue to look for my aunt with the unique name and so did searches, paid for info, looked all over the country but never was quite successful.

Years went passed. My mother unfortunately did not live passed 49 and so me having just turned 50 has been a eye opening experience.

Yet it was in 2007 when I was asked to play Santa in one of the children’s homes in Japan so over the many years tried to do what I could. I was offered to be the director of Living Dreams, as many of you know.

And it was a donor, who had moved on to another company but came up to me at a party and said, “You should contact the Masons. They give $1,000,000 a year away to charity.” I told him my great grandfather had been a mason. Another friend said, “If your great grandfather had been a mason, you should try to be one.”

I went online that night to the now digitized version of our family tree on

I updated the names of my twin daughters and while I was about to close the site, I scrolled over my mother’s name and the data has been improved quite a bit since 2010 when I was on the site last. If fact, it had the marriage records of her marrying my biological father and while I had thought he had passed away by then, he hadn’t.

And by doing those Internet searches way into the night I found that he was remarried an living in Fresno, California and that I had sisters I did not know about.

So, I made a copy of my baby photo and business card and sent it to the address online and received a message from one of my new found sisters via LinkedIN (very modern) meeting one’s siblings on LinkedIn!?!

I have since met almost everyone in the family on that side. I met the aunt who I couldn’t find and found that there are two more.

I have nieces and nephews and very happy to have them in our lives along with my own siblings from birth.

The phone book couldn’t take me to where I wanted to go. My paternal grandparents are buried in the same mausoleum as my great grandfather in Napa…yet our paths never crossed.

If I had never been invited to play Santa, I would never have known there are 30,000 children living in homes in Japan.

I would have never met that donor.

The conversation would never have taken place.

And now my life is quite complete.

Technology and connectivity matters.

That is why we do the work we do with the kids in Japan. 

To connect them to a future or information so that they don’t just rely on a phonebook.

When is the last time you left your phone at home and went without wifi for a day.

Imagine going 18 years...

....or in my case 48 years.

Global Giving Bonus Wednesday


Sharing & Caring 2008 artwork &  photo                by Jårg Geismar

Sharing & Caring 2008 artwork &  photo                by Jårg Geismar

The June Accelerator is off to a great start! We're impressed with this group's energy and enthusiasm. So far, over 200 organizations from more than 50 countries have secured their first donor. Bravo! 

No matter where your organization is on the main leaderboardnext week is going to be a game changer. Why? Because the Accelerator Bonus Day is Wednesday, June 20th

Bonus Day is an exhilarating opportunity to get ahead; to use matching funds and cash prizes to leverage additional funding for your vital work. 


When: The Bonus Day will last 24 hours, from 00:00:01 to 23:59:59 EDT on Wednesday, June 20th. 

How can we win matching? The $10,000 Incentive Fund will be proportionally divided between organizations that activate during the day. 

Example: If your organization raises 5% of the total amount raised by all Accelerators on Bonus Day, you will receive 5%, or $500, of the Incentive Fund. 

Too much math? Don't worry! GlobalGiving will run the calculations for you every 3 minutes on the special Bonus Day leaderboard.

How can we win a cash prize? At the end of Bonus Day, the project with the most funds raised will win a $1,000 cash prize; the project with the most one-time donors will win $500; and the project with the most recurring donors on Bonus Day will win $500.  

Important Note: Only online donations up to $5,000 per donor per project will count towards winning Bonus Day prizes. 

Will Bonus Day results count towards the Accelerator goal? Absolutely! The Main Accelerator leaderboard will be capturing all of your donor activity throughout Wednesday Bonus Day. Incentive prizes from GlobalGiving on Bonus Day, however, are considered extra and will not be reflected in your total count towards graduating.  


Obaa-chan in the cloud project with Waseda Business School

Cindy, Chee Ming, Michael and Naveen,


Just want to say THANK YOU for giving an wonderful opportunity to our students. 


Most of them have never done "design thinking" exercise, so I believe they learned a lot --- although it was an extremely condensed version.


Hope ideas generated through the exercises gave some insight to Michael.


I am enclosing photos we took. Feel free to use/upload the photos if you want!


Thank you again, for everything!



Hiroshi Kanno


Waseda Business School

(Graduate School of Business and Finance)

Waseda University

A very special thanks to Balloon Circus

Connectivity Matters!

From an enquiry email last year to lighting up the faces of dozens and dozens of children at Iwate's Taiyo Gakuen, Sendai Tensien, Fukushima Aiikuen, Shirakawa Gakuen;Tokyo's St.Francis Home, St.Joseph's home, Kiyose Kodomo no ie, Matsubaen; Nagoya's Wakamatsu Ryo and Jiyugakuen.

Crossing oceans, cultures and languages. Laughter and play are the real bridge connecting us all!


Day 30, 31 & 32 Of Iva C.A.R.E.S Fund Raiser Has walked for a month...

Tokaido trek



Happy month-on-the-tokaido everyone!



Day 30. Jenny, Bow, Michael, James and and I visit another children's home. This home is taken care of by a monk I believe, who has been doing so for the past 100 years (got to double check!)



The inside was renovated and is now a truly lovely, fully equipped home. There is wood everywhere, the design is simple and spacious. When we intrude (again) on children having dinner, they seem relaxed and at home. It's a great sight :)



Later, thanks to the Balloon circus, everyone's juggling, spinning plates, and then performing (you should check out their skills!) We all had a great time thanks to everyone invovled :))) Good bye Jenny and Bow!




Day 31. My dear Tokaido, we reunite again.



Doing the calculations, my budget won't allow for any exploration/time-taking. Kyoto just some 90 km away, I gotta walk and just walk (another excuse to return to Nagoya!)



I walk until my gps points out that I have to take a ferry to Kuwana, so I take a train instead.



It's hot,  very hot. Yes, I am wearing the lightest clothes I own, and yes, it's not even summer. Yay me!



Past the familiar concrete buildings, traditional wooden ones return until they are all I see. When I read accounts of passing such houses, they often report a sense of "going back in time". I can see what they mean, but I cannot relate to it. To me, these traditional houses simply continue to be. Yes, they are hundreds of years old etc, but like an old tree, it's from our short-lived perspectives that there is any sense of going back in time.



Anyway :)



I spot a shop with an interesting chicken logo haha, and stop for a moment to look at it. An old man standing outside it welcomes me in and turns out to be the owner. It's a little cake shop and after the usual chatter, he rushes away and returns with a glass of cool water and a cold, creamy dessert, saying, "Oishi! Oishi!"



Oishi indeed! We talk, he brings me some cake, we talk some more, and before I leave me gives me a present of garlic crisps. Very nice of him! :D



Traditional houses, sun, gardens and little historic spots, more sun. I stop on a bench by a closed restaurant for some shade/to munch the crisps and an old man approaches. Yes, we talk too :)



He is the owner and inside his Italian restaurant he shows me a picture of mount Fuji. It is stunning. "I drew this with pencil colours," he says. Amazing!!! Around his entire restaurant are more of his drawings - old Italian villages, a bridge in paris, flowers upon flowers.

彼は、ここの御主人でこのイタリアンレストランの中にある富士山の絵を見せてくれた。すごく綺麗な絵だ。“私はこれを色鉛筆で描いたんだよ。”彼は言う。すごい!!! レストランの中には彼が描いた絵がもっと沢山あった。古いイタリアの村、パリの橋、次から次と花の絵。


He showed me a wooden model of this large ship-like thing they use in the traditional festivals and he says it took him 2 years to make. The detail was stunning!!!



His wife joins us and we talk about their travels to Europe etc and he gives me a small drawing as a present!



"Aenai", he tries to tell me before I leave. Not understanding,  he tries to explain it by saying that I am walking the Tokaido and he came here and I think, "ah, maybe he means it was  a lucky encounter!"

“あえない” 彼は私が去る前に何か伝えようとする。何を言おうとしているのか分からない。彼は私が東海道をここまで歩いて来たことを言いながら何か説明しようとする。私は“ああ、多分彼はこれが幸運の出会い”だと説明しようとしているのだろう。


"Aenai," he repeats. I nod, smile. "Hai, aenai!"

“あえない”彼は繰り返す。私は笑顔でうなずき “はい、あえない!”


Later on, I research the word. It means "tragic"...



It's time to learn Japanese...



The heat settles down as the sun sets and walk in the night. When I reach Yokkaichi, I find a park and camp between trees, but that night, I didn't freeze. That night, I had a sleeping mat. And I woke up to a gently rising sun and the singing of birds :)



Day 32. I get going at 5:30 am, but as the hours pass, it becomes roasting!



With 4 hours of rough sleep and an appetite of what I can only presume a wild boar would I have, the walk turns into a trudge. I trudge past a highway until a supermarket comes into sight. Never been happier to see one!



Food, water, charging my phone, a nap in a forest by a graveyard (that's another story!). I deeply wanted to just stay in the shade for the rest of the day, but the rhythm of the Tokaido is to keep moving. And so I kept on moving.



The houses on the route are really beautiful and seem older than the ones I've come across. At one point I pass a blue bridge and see a little gate that seems interesting. Time to explore. Small stone steps take me past trees and towards a large wooden temple surrounded by a garden.



The more I walk around, the more beautiful it is. There a small stone shrines  here and there, large blossoming flowers, a little hidden pond under trees, greeny of different shades and hues. A lady appears and she after the expected chat, she shows me around and tells me that she has lived here with her husband (the shrine's monk) for 40 years.



I meet her husband who gives me oranges and then their son (also a monk) show me the main shrine. It's around 380 years old and it's roof is actually depicted in one of Hiroshige's ukiyoe of the 53 stations of Tokaido!



We have a lovely talk, visit an ancient sakura tree from another of Hiroshige's ukiyoe, and then get going.



For the first time, school children start to say hello to me and a little boy even stops to ask me where I am from! As I past Shono post station around 6 pm, a car stops right by me and guess who comes out?

初めて、学校の子供達がハローと私に言う。小さな男の子が止まって私が何処からきたかと聞いた! 夕方6時頃に庄野宿を越えると、車が横で止まる。誰が出てきたと思う?


The monk's wife! 



She tells me her husband said it was dangerous for me to be camping alone (haha) and that I should stay the night with them! How nice!!!



They show me a book on the 53 stations of Tokaido as dinner is being prepared (cue for wild-boar-appetite). It's so interesting to compare the routes during the Edo period to what it is now, having walked through them.



We dine together and somehow manage to talk about buddism with the help of the dictionary on my phone haha. I had a great time and hope to share this experience better than the short words I have written here :)



But for now, the Tokaido calls...



Day 27,28 & 29 of Iva C.A.R.E.S Fun raising walked all the way to Nagoya...


Tokaido trek: day 27, 28, 29



(Sorry for the later post today! Ask Michael and Tully's coffee about it ;) )

(遅くなってごめんね! マイケルとタリーズ・コーヒーに理由を聞いて。笑)


Here's a theory: the more you struggle to find words for something, the more meaningful it is.



Language is fairly recent in our human history, feelings are not.



As I write these blog posts, there is a great omission of the journey that goes on. What is left? Places, snippets of stories, some photos. It is my hope that even through these, you may glimpse a true shadow. Perhaps one day, when the fire fades and the iron cools, there will be marks left in the ashes.



Anyway :) Day 28! I don't even remember what happened on that day! (Maybe I should go back to writing a blog every 2 days haha)

とにかく、笑。第28日目! その日に何が起きたか覚えてもいない!(これでは、私はまた二日おきにブログを書くようにしなければならないかもしれない。はは。)


I remember day 29. Music in my ears, I took a train to Chiryu station, where I had left off the day before yesterday, at midday. Now in Aichi prefecture, leaving the mountains of Shizuoka, cement buildings, highways and the few traditional houses are framed by skies alone. Clear skies! The weather has been so lovely.



I walk, observe, walk. Sometimes twittering birds stop me in my tracks, or a beautiful garden. Later on, an ancient tree. Its bark is cracked and peeling. Its branches stretched in all directions. I sit beside it in silence for an hour, then stand up to leave...




Before I realize it, the skies darken and I grab lunch/dinner at a konbini and continue.



Begin, a walk in the night.



It doesn't matter that the route is next to highways for the most part. It's not what's seen that's interesting, it's what's hinted at: a dark plane that unveils itself as a river when a train passes, the shadow of trees, patterns on pavements and iron bridges, the glaring, blaring lights of cars, a single neon sign lighting an empty road, a pair of shoes left outside a sleeping house, a wide, field of grass.



At the beginning of my walk, a month ago, I was blind to these details. I took in everything on its surface. But as I've walked the Tokaido, instead of getting bored when passing similar-looking  buildings and roads, I've found a whole new world revealing itself. As I've walked the Tokaido, layers of my environment have been peeled away.



Here's a little photo-tour of my night walk on the way to Fujikawa (note: you won't be able to see much!)  以下が、藤沢までの夜の徒歩の写真ツアーです。(メモ:沢山は見えないよ!)

  1. A road 道路



2. Flowers by a road 道端の花々



3. The inside of a church (it was locked, so photo taken through the window pane)




4. A faceless man  顔のない人



5.  A castle, a river, a man  お城、川、人



6. A lone light 一つだけの明かり



7. A lake 湖




Day 29! Nagoya! Today I meet Michael (founder of YouMeWe) and the balloon circus and visit a children's home



I leave my couchsurfing host, who has been very kind, and head with my beloved backpack to meet everyone.



There's a smile on my face just writing about this! We had so much fun!



We began by joining three children for a dinner of fried noodles (No, they didn't expect 5 foreigners to come bursting in. Yes, they were caught with chop-sticks half-raised in surprise).



The event begins with an introduction to all the children and a presentation on Expedition Nihon. Then the fun begins: Jenny and Bow show us how to spin plates, use flower sticks, juggle, and other circus tricks. When it's time us to give it a go, all the children (and adults) go wild! We had so much fun!!!



There were a few girls who loved twirling these ribbons around, so I joined their group for the most part ;)



The event ended with a performance (love how you can see who is naturally inclined to what!) and then they all made origami cranes and wrote down their own curiosities for my project!



Thank you to all the staff of the home for having us, and thank you James and Michael for setting up such a wonderful event, and bows to Jenny and Bow for their circus show!



Beaming, tired, our day ended with a stacked plate of famous Nagoya chicken wings (by far the best wings I've ever had, yum).



Day 24, 25 & 26 Of Iva C.A.R.E.S. Fund Raiser


Tokaido trek: day 24, 25, 26



Wow, it's nearly been a month!



It feels like half a year has past



It also feels like only a week or two



How is that possible???



(Time leans against a metal railing and draws in deeply from the cigar between its lips. "It just is," it answers, disappearing behind a wreath of smoke).

(時間は、金属製の手すりに寄りかかり、唇の間から巻きタバコを深く吸い込む。“ただそれだけ” と時間は答え、煙の輪の中に去る。)


So three day, how were these three days?



Before I go onto that, let me talk a detour for moment...



Walking this past nearly-a-month has acquainted to something called CHOAS.



(Upon hearing it's name, Chaos stumbles from its seat and half-runs-half-falls onto the stage. A wider grin takes over its already beaming face, "HIYA, GUYS!")



Physically getting used to doing long-walks



Mentally getting used to doing long-walks



Daily change of environment



Dealing with extreme highs and lows (when it's dark/I'm tired/don't know where I'm staying the night, I feel seriously lonely! haha)

とっても楽しいことや楽しく無い事もやりくりしてきた 。(暗くなると・疲れて眠い・夜どこに泊まれるか分からない、かなり孤独!笑)


While this is all part of the journey, and I am only grateful for it, there's something that keeps screaming out to me: a need to write.

全ては旅の一部であるが、有り難いことに、いつも私を追い立ててくれるものがある: 書かなければならないということだ。


I'm used to waking up in the morning, drinking green tea by a desk, and writing for 4 hours, but it's not only this habit that keeps tugging at me. It's the inspiration that this walk has built up (and heck has it been building up!) It's a wave that's been rising and rising and now, full of energy, it needs to come crashing down.



And I think that's it: the creative energy needs to be dispelled.



And for that, I need routine.



I've tried fitting writing into the chaos (Chaos jumps up and waves frantically, but before it can open its mouth to speak, gets hushed by the others) but alas, it hasn't been working.



So here's an announcement, dear readers: once I reach Kyoto, the end of the Tokaido route, I intend on staying put in one new prefecture for probably a month. Sure, I'll be explore-walking but AFTER 4 hours of writing, 2 hours of Japanese (I really want to talk to people/read Japanese works!!!), and some part-time English teaching to refresh funds.

そこで、ここで発表です。読者の皆さん:私が京都へ着いてこの東海道五十三次を終わらせたら、私は一箇所で多分一ヶ月間滞在するつもりです。もちろん、近くを歩きまわるでしょうが、しかし必ず4時間の執筆の後、それから2時間の日本語の勉強の後(私は日本語で人と話したり、日本語の本を読みたい!!!)、そして少しアルバイトで英語を教えて資金の調達 。


So that's that. I'm very excited to start, and it's given a new vigour to my walk.



...oh, back to the walk! (Walk stays holding its face between its hands and staring beyond-boredom, too beyond-boredom to even blink, mutters, "Yeah.")

おっと、また徒歩に戻らなきゃ!(徒歩は、顔に手を当てて暇をもて余して、あまりにも暇でまばたきもせずにしている。徒歩はつぶやく、“はい” )


Countdown! Countdown to Nagoya! Two days and over 80 km left!!!



Day 24 was a I-don't-care-if-the-world-backflips-on-its-backside-I'm-not-walking day.



Day 25 was a omg-I-have-to-catch-up-on-the-walk day. It was blazing hot during the day time, so I only started at 6:30 pm and power-walked till near midnight (only in Japan and I beat my km record!)

第25日目は、“しまったー。とにかく歩いて遅れを取り戻さなきゃ” という日。日中は、めちゃくちゃ暑かった。だから夕方6時半になってようやく歩き出して、ひたすら全開歩きで夜中まで歩いた(日本だからできる。私の自身最高距離記録だ!)


I began at Nagoya (my couchsurfing host is there, so I'm tracing the Tokaido backwards to Iwata haha!) and moving away from bright street lights I found myself on darker, smaller roads. There was barely anyone else around and while it was admittedly a wee creepy at times, it was mostly very interesting.



A place transforms at night time.



Take away people and sunlight, and you're left with the odd street light, shades of darkness, the silence of night. Even when the wind rustles, the trees seem more quiet than usual.



Everything feels different too. The giant bridges and highways feel bigger, wider. The rivers and trees feel deeper. And the houses oddly feel like something from nature rather than something man-made.



I passed a large shrine with tall stones, flags, a bridge, and a narrow river, and for a moment there was something a bit eerie about it. I could see the outlines of the forms, but most of them were shrouded in complete darkness.



There's a mystery, an intrigue to the dark, and I think that's what made everything so interesting.



There was a section where only large traditional houses filled the streets and these giant buildings with large wooden doors that seemed like old storage places. There were a row of trees that were covered in fairy lights which reminded me of Christmas (my favourite time of year!) Sometimes I'd hear some laughter and talking and then pass a lone Japanese pub with a small group of people.



When the Tokaido passed through brightly-lit streets, they seem like something out of a movie rather than normal life in Japan. Past a highway and a vast, rippling river, I hear the creaking of a train. I want to walk more but I can't miss the last train back. Next time :)



Day 26. A that's-it-I'm-planning-some-routine day.

第26日目。“もうこれまでだ、しっかりと毎日のパターンを計画する” 日。


Did some research, planning. Caught up on sleep, stayed in bed and read and then had a delicious Austrian dinner with a polish couple and our Couchsurfing host, and are later joined by two enthusiastic Italian ladies. We exchange travel stories (especially the crazy ones) and have a good time. Before I go to sleep, it dawns on my how much I'm going to have to walk tomorrow and the day after to make Nagoya...



(Walk stands up, its beyond-boredom stare gone. A little smile creeps in the corner of its lips and before it leaves the stage, it says to the lingering audience, "See you.")








(PS. Sorry about lack of photos! It was too dark for any proper ones)



Day 21, 22 & 23 of Iva C.A.R.E.S. Fund Raiser


Tokaido trek: day 21, 22, 23

東海道五十三次 徒歩:第21,22,23日目


When people ask about my walk, they make me aware of one particular thing: the disappearance of time.



It melts away. One day feels like many days, a week feels like a month.



"Did that really just happen yesterday?" My mind asks.



Yes, yes it did.



And as time disappears, a sum of experience is all that's left...



...In a supermarket near Shimada, on old lady peaks at me eating raw broccoli. She comments, shocked, and I invite her to try some. She picks a piece, "Oishi! hajimete!" she buys me coffee, we talk about her life of living alone for 30 years and her hobby of piano (when I say I'd love to hear her she shakes her head smiling,  "hazukashi'!") For over half an hour, we forget that my Japanese is rubbish and the silence that naturally comes between conversation. For over half an hour, we connect.

島田の側のスーパーマーケットで、私が生のブロッコリーを食べているのをあるお婆さんが覗く。彼女はびっくりだと言い、私は試してみてと言う。彼女は1つ取り上げて、“おいしい。はじめて!” 彼女がコーヒーを買ってくれる。彼女が30年間独りで暮らしている事やピアノの趣味について話した。(私が、是非聴きたいと言うと、彼女は首を振って、“恥ずかしい!”と言った。)一時間半以上話し、私の日本語が拙い事を忘れ沈黙の瞬間が自然に少しずつ出てくる。一時間以上、二人で何繋がった時間を過ごした。


Eventually,  she bows to leave but I open my arms to hug her. She hesitates for a moment,  then hugs me. We both depart smiling to ourselves...



...the sun sets and the sky shifts into darker shades until a deep blue sky hangs above the cobbled road entrance to the old Tokaido road in Kanaya.



To enter or not to enter?



I've only walked for ten miles today, I have to make Nagoya on 16th April, but soon it will be pitch black and that experience in Hakone has let me know that such a set up is unideal haha.



But who cares? I was silly then.

しかし、そんなの誰がきにするか? 私はあの時頭がちょっとおかしかっただけだ。


"Don't repeat your mistakes!" My brain pings.

“同じ過ちを繰り返すな!” 私の頭は知らせる。


I sit on the side of a stone platform and think it through. The sky turns navy. I decide to wake up early tomorrow and walk then. Sitting, enjoying the moment, stars come out. "You are all specks in time that will soon disappear. In the vastness of space, you are nothing."


And yet, here we are.



In dilence, I watch the stars. The sky turns black. I sit take train to my room in Kakegawa. Good night, everyone...



...6:20 am. Old Tokaido road. Tall trees, cobbled roads, steep mountains and rows and rows of tea bushes, birds twittering everywhere. I spot a large bird that looks like a chicken but is too elegant for one. It flies away as I approach and crouches, hiding in grass.  Should I let it know how much its bright red face stands out more in the grass? I turn away, pretending not to see it, laughing to myself...

6:20am, 東海道旧道。高い木々、石畳の道、急勾配の山々、そして幾重、幾重ものお茶畑、鳥があちこちでさえずいている。私は、にわとりに似た大きな鳥を見つけた。しかし鶏にしては綺麗過ぎる。近づいてしゃがむと飛んで逃げて、草に隠れる。草に隠れると、より赤い顔が目立つことを教えるべきだろうか? 私は、そっぽを向いて、その鳥が隠れて見えなくなった振りをして、笑った。


..10 hours of walking, feet complaining and stomach rumbling, I arrive at Iwata. blue flags with a football logo line the streets. They look so lovely in this humble town, but imagine the pressure the players must feel whenever there's a match!



A lot of the time, during this walk, there is often nothing more to say then, "Yeah, so I just walked through plain, identical looking houses and roads."



Boring? Sure. But when time disappears, it just becomes part of the rhythm of an experience. The silence in between the music.



I finish a 30 km walk (about time!) and arrive at a train station to go to my couchsurfing host. A massive Iwata football logo covers a station wall (hah!) Gambette!!! ...